is it trashy that while he was throwing up in the bathroom, i was hooking up with his childhood best friend?
SEE! I KNEW I HAD A LONG-TERM REASON FOR BEING A SLUT!
I am kinda proud of you, its like seeing my slutty baby take its first step
He leaned out the window to puke right as the fan for the ac turned on. All of it blew back up into his face.
she looked at me completely serious and said "orgasms are 15% Stronger during a hurricane" and started to take all her clothes off
They should have to wear some identification that warns you to stay away. Like one of those cones dogs wear to keep them from biting stitches. CONE OF SHAME.
Its a "sake bomb in the bathroom during class" kind of day.
Almost screamed "GO FISH MOTHER FUCKER" at the girl I nanny today. Drunken card games shouldn't bleed into my sober life.
Did i tell you my idea for my life plan? Not the one that involves stripping.
Definitely just found that pen in the microwave. What the fuck.
What is she getting? Last time we talked her behavior was conducive to getting a tramp stamp on her face.
You straight up wore me out. This should be a proud moment for you. It's almost like my penis is asking for a timeout. But not really
Now some guy that's in my phone as " Alex lip ring hot" is texting me and I don't where life is taking me
How the hell could he be confused. He had a naked girl running to him. I feel like he would enjoy that.
I found Erin. She's getting a back massage from the coat check boy and drinking all his whiskey.
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