oh fat girl friday strikes again...
Watching a deaf couple have an argument in the mall. Can't bring myself to look away.
Please come pick me up? I sleep walked to planned parenthood again.
so i never found you. but i found vodka. so its kinda the same
Naturally, I just peed all over the floor. Two guys in front of me looked at me, but i just shrugged. They won't remember either.
Is it weird that out of everything, Im most worried about chipping a tooth on his prince albert?
I hope the doctor doesnt lift up and my shirt and listen to my lungs. I dont want to explain why I have rug burns on my back.
She made me be the little spoon then she pretended to be a jet pack for an hour straight
just puked a little into my hand/sleeve. way too hungover for the first day of class
You'd think, but when you nail one sorority sister, you might as well have nailed them all.
I fell asleep on the floor again. i dont want help, just a pillow. its kind of nice down here.
So apparently it wasn't anything really bad, it's hemorrhoids. Which is the medical word for butthurt. I actually have ass ointment.
I just hooked up with a one legged Australian guy. Hooray diversity!
What? I'll do just about anything if you give me a sticker.
I'm gonna go take a shower so I can cleanly change into my drinking underwear.
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