Spaghetti and Car Bombs, good idea or what will end up on the bar in a few minutes?
You decided to make a porno with gummy bears and things went downhill from there.
Just got a lapdance on the metro. She said she was on maternity leave and needed the practice.
He passed out so we kept throwing water on him, he got excited and asked if we were at the wave pool.
the homeless guy was waiting for me this morning. this is the closest to a boyfriend ive had in years.
I'm worried I'm going to miss my flight so I set a series of alarms on my phone to act as checkpoints to make sure I'll be there. 2am-stop drinking; 4am-stop fucking stephanie, get some sleep; 5am-wake up, fuck stephanie once more; 6am-get to the airport
Ethically speaking on a scale from 1 to morally wrong, how wrong would it be to give babies ambien? Hypothetically speaking.
He told me I handled myself pretty well considering how drunk I was. He failed to realize that the lollipop I had was one I found on the ground a few minutes before hand.
Drinking, I should not. Got here I don't know. Still drunk, I am. At courtneys.
I got a thank you card in the mail from the virgin i slept with on the camping trip. Weird or the new classy?
I made out with about ten people last night. And four of them were just on the way to my car from the bar. And one was my roommate.
Our conversation concluded a weekly schedule of casual sex in between classes.
Apparently I missed the "You may have to jack off a horse" part of the application.
I remember us getting kicked out of the bar, but neither of us know why. We woke up next to chicken bones on a plate with spoons, and my car has mud all over it including places where feet shouldn't be, like the speakers on the car door.
I'm sorry if you weren't drunk enough to be peer pressured into the naked dancing/group make out that transpired last night
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