i just told my boss to make it rain at camelot later...what is wrong with me?
i just uploaded three hundred pictures and you had your shirt off in two hundred and ninety of them
the remaining ten - you weren't in
I'm at a party with that guy you made out with on new years. He remembers your name!
I finally beat you i just fucked my professor last night!!!\n\n
sry, psychiatrist trumps professor
Did the math... it's Magna Cum Laude whether I get a 4.0 or a 0.0 this semester. I'm blacking out now, wake me up when I have to walk across the stage,
I threw up in the bar parking lot and yelled THIS IS MY FUTURE.
We didnt even know he was in the house until he came downstairs and asked why he was wet
No The bastards made me buy a new one, They don't cover water damage an apparently they consider salsa water damage
stef broke her leg trying to vault over the coffee table. these olympics drinking games are going to fucking kill us
in the middle of getting head my cat meowed. she looked up , meowed back, and then continued giving me head.
I texted him 3 days ago he said he was pre gaming for the Super Bowl today he just text" gtomajg kaka hee 48!!!"
and then you called me a third time and yelled that you were stealing a puppy named Willow
I was writing 'DISTRACTION' across my chest in Sharpie when my boob fell out. Right on camera.
I literally have a pirate chest of slutty clothing.
where are you guys?
stoned at his house watching water boil
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