very cute, but more "I wanna put you in my pocket and keep you as a pet" and less "please bang me" type of cute.
He told me to pretend to be a shark, and he would slay me with his harpoon cock.
cum and cheesecake for breakfast...don't fucking tell me pride week isn't awesome
Too many people are naked here for this to be normal.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My mom assumed I was crying because he was leaving. Figured that was better than explaining my eye's sensitivity to semen..
I found a half-finished mass text from my California weekend that said "things I want to rape: you, things, stuff, and le"
Right. Will do. I'll call you if I need a ride. (that is a double meaning, go with it.)
Pencil dick carries the name proudly.
I feel like there is something fundamentally wrong with me as a woman. My initial text to you was "What's up, fuck bucket?"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He was late, on account of he accidentally went to the Al-Anon meeting across the hall, and it took him 30 minutes to realize he was in the wrong room.
I've really become a household name at this fraternity. Mother would be so proud.
He a gives rim jobs, because, of course a guy who opens doors and makes reservations would lick your anus..like a gentleman.
Details are irrelevant. Come bail me out of jail.
We didn't get home until 4 am. Her mom let us in, confessed that she had sex with someone she worked with and said he had a small penis. I love this family.
Nobody on Tinder wants to give you a Blumpkin.
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