Just bought purple Ray Bans. If there was any small chance that I would ever have sex with women ever again, I just buried it.
dude, she masturbates with a ken doll.
They past out watching a re-run of the 1984 presidential debate on cspan
after the first blizzard, i went out and bought a thirty and put it in a cooler and hid it out in the backyard. now the second blizzard has deposited 2 feet of snow on top of said cooler. there is a shovel and treasure map over here waiting for you
Stripper fight on main stage. It just happened. And it was glorious.
In the middle of blowin me she stoppped and told me how easy it would be to insert a catheter ..... Apparently she was a nursing major
Yeah, first time I've shit my pants in my twenties... I'm thinking about putting it on my Facebook timeline
But the drunk streaking fizzled when one of jake's friends took a piss while running with a massive erection.
There was just a girl standing next to me on the train, wasted, wearing only one shoe. I so wanted to pat her on the shoulder and say "oh honey, we've all been there"
I was like kind of drunk but mostly just very enthusiastic about beyonce
I think there's an ice cream truck out back, but there's no way I can get pants on in time to catch it
I didnt finish. My brain kept playing the duck tales theme thru the entire blow job
I didn't even have pants on and you think I had an agenda
Im playing a game I have to take a drink every time my gram asks me the same question hammered by 4 guaranteed
Woke up way too warm in the middle of a spooning sandwich. Was working up a rant about still not wanting a threesome. Then I realized the littlest spoon was the dog. Might need to break up anyway.
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