life just isnt the same w/o real world cancun
Oh my god. Oh my god. Oh my god. I drunk emailed a professor on friday. Oh my god. Oh my god.
you tried to arm wrestle for the title of "mom's favorite son"
He kept saying "this is a bad idea" wasn't in his vocabulary. He left at 2 came back at 6 eating frozen waffles and he had a symbol, a moped mirror, and a new MacBook. I'd say he had a good time
I don't know if I should be scared or excited that I can officially drink vodka on the rocks like it's 7up.
We learned a lot about one another. I showed him around the town I grew up in and he informed me that he has had a threesome and killed a cat
Seriously. Texted me 4 times and that didn't wake me up so he nicely called and left a voicemail saying he WOULD call me 8 times. So when he called back I answered.
Girls at BYU need to learn how to handle a penis. I swear my date last night was trying to pull it off my body to use later.
I sat on my couch last night watching What Women Want, eating ice cream, and sobbing "why doesn't she like me?" Why was I born a man?
Who'd have thought a guy with a lisp would be so good with his tongue?
He was stoned and starts screaming, "I ain't got but a dollar, I wanna hear waterfalls!". Maybe he can hang with us....
Then his buddy called and said "my car broke down, I need a ride. If I'm not home by midnight they'll extend my house arrest." And I knew it was time to leave.
You left your Xanax bottle in my car. Why is the label all smudged?
I spilled wine on it.
On a brighter more disgusting note...... I think I just shart myself but I'm too afraid to find out.
He has a penis. Therefore, he counts.
Randomize
