Crown is evil. It plays hide and seek with my morals
How can she be afraid to give you a blowjob? It's not like your penis is going to turn on her and eat her.
He has that cheese in a can and he's eating it. I have never seen that outside a goofy movie.
well most of my day revolves around power hour
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Don't EVER smell your tampon
I just called my cat a slut and she responded. Proudest moment ever.
My worst case scenario tonight is that I fuck a hot Swiss girl. Let that give you perspective on my life at the moment.
Good point, clearly my love of penis contributed to my torn knee ligament.
I just woke up entirely naked on top of a pile of some guy's laundry on his bedroom floor.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Last night you told me you "were too high" and didn't deserve a hashbrown.
I tried to light my cup as a bong. I'm done drinking
She gave you a handy in the bar and you were surprised she was good with a dick?
Hahah good point
I should not be this drunk in a place where a girl is wearing a princess dress
First post college job and I got fired within a week. Something tells me that adulthood isn't going to be as much fun as sex and the city led me to believe.
The only words I could make out were "Dicksmash McIroncock".
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