literally followed a trail of condoms to the bus stop this morning. Ahh modern-day bread crumbs
You said you wanted to go to louisiana and get arrested by Steven segal
Watching Blossom reruns on YouTube. Eating Pringles dipped in hot chocolate. Not taking this breakup well.
so now that i'm sober i just want to apologize for violating your back seat...... on a brighter note thank you for playing the little mermaid song "kiss the girl," really set the mood.
he is allergic to cats. we can only glue dog hair on him. otherwise he might die and i dont want to be responsible for that.
ahaha ok
let's call it "werewolfing"
Watched him slip somethin into her drink. Dragged him of his bar stool, punched him out, and told her what i saw. Bartender used some chemical to confirm presence of rophynol. Just woke up at her place
I went around and congratulated every guy that had a beard for having one
Goddamn tequila
Dude, I lost my shirt, and my doorknob is gone. I'm not sure which I should find first
No apologies necessary. Just give me sex and Pop Tarts, and we'll call it even.
I may be going to Mexico. I just met a drug dealer at a strip club. Seems legit.
He smells like ham and a lifetime of poor choices
sex on a roof was cool and all but that superhero argument was the best part of the night hands down
Well now you know my birthday fantasy: gangbang consisting of men wearing NPR pledge t-shirts.
That's not the problem. The problem is I thought I was over him but he smells nice today.
It's slightly odd going to a booty call during morning rush hour with everyone else going to work.
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