South Carolina's governor once cited "moral legitimacy" when he was a congressman voting for President Bill Clinton's impeachment. Karma is a bitch.
i'm sure there's a big cosmic reason for things working out the way they did. like, now you have awesome images to masturbate to.
What happened to the watermelon?
You fucked it.
You were sitting at the bus stop holding hands with some Polish girl you just met, who was just as drunk as you were, and you kept trying to light your Kit Kat and smoke it.
It's a good deal. He teaches me how to longboard, then we have sex
im looking at burger kings website. there isnt one anywhere close to where we were last night. i think it was sent from heaven
Empowerment dancing to Touch Me in the Morning by Diana Ross. Handling this breakup SO well.
as soon as I stop standing here with one leg up on my bathroom counter admiring my balls, I'm going to go tan. and then you may come over.
So apparently the only parts of last night I remember didn't actually happen.. When did vodka become a hallucinogen?
don't you dare blame getting arrested on me. you sugested we play the penis game and we all know I'm a strong competitor
There should be a rule. If your dick is under 6 inches, you are not allowed to dress as Thor.
Brandon just showed up at my place with a florida state cheerleader he met in vegas durin spring break. His life is a fucking movie
his brother walked in while we were fucking on the couch, told me i had "lovely jugs" and offered to make both of us a drink
didn't prepare for this snow storm at all. i only have like 6 beer and all my booty calls already went home for the holiday. this is bull.
Just threw up in the shower. Hangovers at 23 are the best.
Randomize
