but i got with him after midnight so its technically 2 days
He had to pee in the sink beside my head because the girl that I was taking care of was passed out on the toilet. To answer your question: yes i took a peek. Thats why we hooked up later.
They asked if I wanted to shotgun a beer and before i could ask who had a knife they all had bit holes into the cans. Im never leaving Germany!
We did however see an 87 year old guy die and get resuscitated last night at the bar. He then finished his beer and his game of pool.
Slutty costumes are my most sacred holiday tradition! Wearing a not-slutty costume is like putting cheezwiz on a communion wafer.
Is 'too horny to study' a good enough medical excuse to not take a final?
I've also decided that the true test of whether or not you should marry a girl is if she will willingly blow you while you eat Oreos.
I feel like death gave me a hand job
They're showing aladdin at the bar my birthday is complete
I don't have any money, so I'm just gonna press my boobs against him for his birthday.
No one suspects that a sweet girl who is excited about her anniversary with her bf just blew her partner at work in a communal area a few hours ago, so its cool.
Hey... Tell me if you remember differently, but nobody truly saw me naked, right?
Just made a floating bacon boat for the hot tub. This is what America is all about.
We had sex while watching the republican debate. I'm not sure how he maintained an erection watching Donald Trump speak.
Probably going to live on vodka sodas and fireball shots
Randomize
