wakey wakey hands off snakey
Yeah I guess I was Pocahontus. If she were a trifling drunk who hung out in her undies, with possible brain damage.
I have a love/hate relationship when men come within a 10 minute time frame.
So did the night end well for you?
I stole a traffic cone and drunk texted my sister because i couldn't think of any other girl to text
I'm not really that drunk, but I think vampires should glow in the dark because otherwise it's just unfair
Found more tequila
his semen tasted like maple syrup. no wonder fat girls always wanna fuck him.
Some are given great drunkenness. Others have great drunkenness thrust upon them, in the form of ice storms.
Just curious... Do you still have the cocks bracelet? You know, the one we pass around to whoevers been the biggest slut recently?
Jumped in the kebab van and said he was Ultimate MasterChef. Incurred wrath of six angry Turks. I got free chips.
WE'RE FINALLY ADMITTING THAT WE DESPERATELY WANT TO SCREW EACH OTHER. THIS IS WHAT PROGRESS FEELS
so you know how I brush my teeth after I give you a bj? according to my dentist my teeth have never been cleaner. looks like this will be a recurring thing
The number of times I have seen your cock and the number of times I have wanted to see your cock are different!
I'm constantly crying, and now I start crying every time I masturbate which is a fun development.
WHY CANT I FIND JUST A NORMAL DISNEY LOVING MAN TO PAINT WITH ALL THE COLORS OF THE WIND WITH!!
He saw my Halloween/ Costume closet and assumed I’m into cosplay. I’m going with it. What’s sexier, a cop or a nurse?
Randomize
