She made a guy cry in the bar. I will have her, oh yes, I will have her..
And then I'm going to yell into her vagina and see if it echoes
I don't know what he sees in her. All I see are horrible pancake nipples
Can I get a DUI with a shopping cart? I've nearly hit 2 displays and little girl...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I am still STD free so as far as I am concerned I never went to panama.
At the gym and this really hot trainer checked me out and was talking to his buddy about his workout. He then says "yeah man, like I'm doing so many reps- what's 7 times 7, 45?"
He was THIS close.
My ex wife just asked to go over our divorce papers and for sex in the same text
Two run-ins with cops/park rangers tonight and now I'm just wandering around high and shirtless
Sacramento doesn't deserve you
Pizza rolls are incredible. They are like sex, except I have them sometimes
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
After the keg stand you collapsed, hit your head on the floor, started seizing and after 20 seconds got back up and said "hah, I remember my first beer"
Well I was kicked out of the bar and woke up on a picnic table. I'd say the night was awesome!
Just participated in the saddest thing: Cheetos. Handjob. I have lost at life
My mother is a bitch. She just outed me to my dad. He wants to meet you by the way...
He serenaded me a cappella to Ed Sheeran. I wasn't going to leave his dick unsucked.
Really need a jack off emoji
Who do we write to about that?
Randomize