seriously this is one of those moments where im glad i dont really talk to or know the people i sleep with
Well said.
she was pretty much dry humping my leg when her boyfriend walked in. he says "you should probably leave." all i could come up with was "YEAH, I KNOW!"
alcohol turns me into mario batali of easy mac
and I didnt even know his name until this morning when we were laying in bed and he referred to himself in the 3rd person.
I just encountered the most annoying guy on the planet. I wanted to slap his milkshake out of his fat-boy hands while he was talking to me at the same time as slurping his liquid fat.
I love milkshakes.
Not the point.
I just got eleven picture messages of my dick and balls hanging out of my shorts last night. I guess it really is summer when the fratastic, man-thigh exposing shorts come out...
Bro i heard that. I've seen so many balls this month its like march madness all over again
Yes she scared me. She had NIPPLE CLAMPS ATTACHED TO A STUN GUN.
I woke up in his bed wearing nothing but a penn state hat. We are....
So is that the only criterion for shenanigans now? Don't die?
You were making out w/ur brothers coach against a door when someone opened it and you both fell through... Then you continued to make out on the ground
The struggle bus has heated seats and stops at Dunkin on Friday mornings so I'll be okay.
so i may or may not have just had sex on the stage of the lecture hall....
I told him I thought I was pregnant and he told me he accidentally killed my bird.
Circle of life.
You don't need yoga. You need a boyfriend! Trust me I've become all sorts of flexible this past year.
I thought I was drunk because I kept grabbing his arm instead of his dick
But then I realized it wasn’t his arm and that I was very lucky
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