dude this 15 year old girl saw our youtube vid and just facebook messaged me saying i was verry verry pretty. i have no schemas for how to respond to this situation.
woah 15?
i know! what is this dateline?
she looked like the before picture.
don't wear any deodorant. we have to do everything we can to sabotage this wedding
You know how you thought that you put on a condom last weel?
yea
turns out that you did...and i just found it.
I'm actually agreeing with glenn beck. What the FUCK was in that margarita?!
Good call on the strip club last night. Everytime i smell some flowery candle or air freshener I get transported back to having my face firmly planted in Riah and Desire's tits.
You're welcome.
We would have taken you home with us, but you were outside the bar measuring a randoms stream of piss by walking along side it... you said you were only at 32 feet and it still had a couple of grooves to hit.
Your grammar in that last text message was so awful.. My vagina wants to go crawl in a hole, and never speak to you again.
Hot freshmen.....hot freshmen chicks everywhere
You say this every welcome week, bro.
Going to jail was so much more fun than I thought it would be. I feel like I walked away with more than just a bomb-ass mugshot, I feel like I made some life long friends.
Celebratory bar crawl?
What!? It's 7:30am on gameday. This keg is not going to drink itself.
Got stuck at my fwb place for three days because I decided sex was more important than my safety in the weather. Worth it.
I threw up through my nose tonight. Happy cinco de mayo
Apparently she "missed me" and the only logical solution was to fuck my brother.
we went to go have morning sex and I said “I was gonna put my mouth on it but you need to shower”#ruinedthemoment
Randomize
