Came home to a chalk baord that read:" Think like a rapist." Can't say I'm surpirsed.
I am the Bobby Fisher of drunk asss puking
how did we ever eat at restaurants where they DIDNT squirt-gun tequila in our mouths?
I know it was you because you're the only person I know who gets drunk and craves soup.
Soup is delicious
I should probably go to bed before I start to care about why I started drinking in the first place.
He always takes home straight guys. He plays One Night Stand on Ledgendary Mode
I gotta say, I do way better with the ladies than I do the men. So if it turns out being gay is a choice, then I'm going to go ahead and choose it.
You tried to sit down... There was a distinct lack of couch.
what's the proper way to say, "I'm sorry for puking on you and your bed mid hook up then going downstairs and fucking your roommate because you locked me out of your room completely naked...?"
Urgent. Do not ignore. What does this "=$" shit mean. Quality foreign dick is at stake here
his first act of 2015 was getting stabbed
I appreciate the I'll come bail you out of jail tone in the text
Accent: check. Hot body: check. 8" dick: check. Feeds me biscuits in bed after rampant sex: check. Should I continue with my "Why I'm not coming back to the States" List?
We need to know if his feet match his cock.
I'm not gonna plow a chick in front of her 14 year old brother....
Randomize
