Excuse me? I'm weird? You're the one sticking your penis into a pringles can.
Don't worry about later. I already pre-ordered a pizza for a 1:45 delivery and told them to ignore any calls from your number.
You're getting good at this, you know that?
so was this before or after i puked down the ice luge?
Trying not to fart in the comp lab is going to take everything i've got.
We woke up in an inflatable kiddie pool full of both empty and full beer cans. In the middle of his dad's office. Oh, and we were locked in. Nobody remembers.
Well let's just say that she ended up trying to get it in with the wheelchair guy, who btw, can get an erection and quickly I might add
Pregnancy scare over. Let the cockfest begin.
I woke up covered in sausage cart mustard and champagne
All you have to drink is moonshine and ranch. This is bullshit.
I thought I could grab a hold of my stream of urine. So she left pretty soon after that.
I've already dropped her on the ground of a crowded bar dancing , been incoherent drunk to the point i couldn't speak and came within 2 seconds all on separate evenings so at this point she should know what I'm about
so let me get this straight... she's showing a cameltoe that can be seen from the space station and I'm NOT supposed to stare?
You need to stop telling people you gained weight over the holidays. You've been fat since July.
Jealous. I want an iud. Maybe there's a late night bodega that'll insert one for me
She called to tell me she just hooked up with my crush...and that he talked about me...not sure if I should be pissed or excited?
Randomize
