He yelled GOOOOAAAALLL when he came.
So, I'm pretty sure I just jacked off and my gf 17 m/o son caught me. IDK how long he was standing in the crib, but he definately saw the grand finale.
I've slept with so many tools that you'd think my pussy was Home Depot.
Your TV has the DVD menu for White Chicks permanently burned into the screen. I can't anymore. That's just a whole different level that I cannot comprehend.
I woke up to find her cooking breakfast wearing nothing but my Nuggets jersey. I don't think this could end better.
i hope youre ready for a shit show because we just ordered a whole pitcher of red headed sluts
and I keep making him eat me out and buying me presents, this is paradise. I wish he cheated on me earlier.
I vaguely remember making out with his tattoo (?) and giving him an awesome massage and then I passed out on his floor. Shrug
At least is you came to Milwaukee to visit me you'd get the best mind blowing sex of your life and free wifi. Who doesn't want free wifi!
sooo trippy being back in town after 5 years. if you had asked me in high school who would be future coke heads, i would have been way off
This is why we can never be together. Well that and we r married to other ppl but that's very minor detail compared to the coffee issue
Plus you need some new dick in your life, the environment is fucked enough you don’t have to recycle anymore 😂💀
Sorry for face licking, I probably won't do it again.
Also, I love cats. I sat on the floor and they sat with me.
I think she lost me at about the point where the words “Ice Cream Enema” were spoken.
She sent a group text pic called "Assemble" of his dick next to her forearm.
I'm down.
Randomize
