she just made me lysol my hands in order to touch her tits.
I JUST WANT SOMEBODY TO EXPLAIN HOW FORESKIN WORKS AND DO NOT UNDERSTAND WHY THIS IS A PROBLEM.
and the award for most disgusting thing ever done on my couch now officially goes to you! Congratulations, you won the couch...I can't even look at it anymore.
I was trying to sing daddy wasnt there from austin powers but apparently I was crying and and yelling jibberish...I get to into this shit
She looks like if Peter Griffin was a lesbian.
Run away.
And I'm not sure if that's how you pluralize penis. Never planned on needing to know that in my life.
I hate cuddling. I also hate when people breathe. Which he did, a lot. So he can go to hell.
Trevor is horny so he just called me to tell me all the things that he would like to do with his future wife. That's a new one.
Imagine getting a FB inbox "hey I found your ID on the floor of a bar can you send me a mugshot so I can get a second piece of ID made?"
I just want to lay in a bed of egg mcmuffins and cry
Se wrote an essay in class about proper and fashionable winter wear for dogs. Of course I regret fucking her.
I remember looking at his body and thinking wow you have a body sculpted by Jesus himself. Still not sure if I said that out loud or not
Granted every 20 shifts of working there you seem to be on par to receive some sort of racy satisfying sexual encounter which money can’t buy
got laid for being an eagle scout again. 4 more and ill have all my merit badges.
yeah we're all naked, and I think we just shaved Chad.
Randomize
