Brogan sounds similar to Bridget...sorta.
Every girl's name is automatically translated to "Baby/Milk Carrier" in my brai
Just saw a cop issuing a DUI. At 3 pm. It's definitely the start of winter break.
They're drinking Schnapps out of Spaghetti-o's cans. Please come pick me up.
He told me the hand job I gave him this morning was "lovely".
Damn you and your Monday night power hours.
thank god we only have to drink eggnog and rum once a year. It taste like shit.
All I remember is waking up with 3 penises pointed at my face. I also remember enjoying that a lot. And then I threw up in their shower.
I'm gonna get drunk in the shower and yell at my parents during dinner. Have fun in Texas.
They had to stop us from skinny dipping in the reflection pool of the Mormon temple.
Is "head down ass up" an appropriate way to say good morning?
On a unprofessional note, there's a new girl in photo.
That wasn't unprofessional. The fact that I'm going to fuck her is unprofessional.
I might go bald with this hair pulling thing every night.
Ya, It's probably because whenever I close my eyes I see a kitten playing a banjo.
Mike's letting gay guys do body shots off him again.
My boyfriend, ladies and gentlemen.
Fuck twitter. Fuck men. Fuck bras. Fuck flip flops. Fuck makeup. Fuck perfume.
Randomize
