Jason Williams (yeah the ex-nets center...) drunkenly told me that, while drinking, I should take an ambien and a cialis before i go home...that will "give me a 25 minute window to have sex and then goto sleep before the bitch starts bothering me"....
He screamed "Oh boy! Oh boy!" during climax.
I think i'm just gonna start shot-gunning everything that comes in can form.
After the VIP Latina experience at the strip club last night, I am rooting for Mexico in this years World Cup.
I miss the days when all my weekends consisted of were 69 and crunchwraps
The straight man in me wants to hit on her. But the gay man in me wants to compliment her on her awesome outfit.
I'm so proud of us for fucking the same friend group before we met in a completely unrelated instance.
i chased bacardi with meat sauce last night
Ok that kid was ether gay or 12 with a beard.
They left me passes out in the food donation bin with an empty handle and a half eaten box of nutter butters
She's an honest to god fucking ballerina. She did things I don't have names for.
We broke into her grandpa's pool at 2 am and I held my underwear out the window on the way home.
And the cops are back. At least my pants are on this time
i found waldo and immediately set him to work eating me out. please have more out of season costume parties.
You were just laying there on the air mattress watching spongebob with a knife. We tried to take it from you, but you insisted it was your emergency escape in case you started to float off.
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