I thought she had more class and brains than to date a complete numb-nut, drug addict, fuck up like him. People never cease to amaze me
I just walked into the kitchen and my dad was having this uber serious convo
With himself
i wish i could post a picture of his odd shaped penis on facebook and label it "wtf???"
it was a sick party until you insisted on putting on "that's how I beat shaq"
Did you write "I hope this gives you aids" on my box of capn crunch?
no dude free pina colada`s taste like what I would expect my penis to taste like except gay-er.
You were pouring Patron into the window of the squad car trying to get the police dog to drink it
So thats why that cop beat my ass?
Probably
I remember halftime. Then I woke up in Spain. I need a drink in order to process this.
LOVE ME MORE THAN PIZZA CAN
The porch is breathing.
STAY OUT OF MY SHROOMS YOU CUNT
Yeah man, you were grinding with his wife, I wouldn't be worried about it
Crying while I'm pooping. I think this is rock bottom
If you're gonna show up unannounced on hangover day, you better have coffee doughnuts and a boner
yeah, but I wanna be the girl that makes him realize he's 100% gay
These random guys found me. They told me not to wander in the woods and i remember saying 'am i fucking Bambi?! I'm not gonna walk into woods!' then i threw up.
Randomize
