I don't think cute and don't forget to get tested belong in the same text
In an effort to go green, I just used rainwater to fill my bong.
Dude I was fucking my girl on the couch and her dog came up and licked my balls. Does that mean we just had a threesome?
your ability to fuck hot guys even when you go out in sweats amazes me
so i gave him head in the movie theater last night. thought we were alone til I heard the clapping from the other side of the theater after he'd finished.
I'm sorry about your car but on a brighter note I did wake up in my dorm. That's something right?
Fuck you.
1. my parents still have sex. 2. being a screamer runs in the family. 3. so much so that i can tell what number of orgasms she's on. 4.so looks like i'm stuck outside a while
we just bought Vicodin from the Chinese delivery guy, this day just keeps getting better.
He's just sitting there staring at my sisters teddy bear hoping it will come to life.
I think once you know a guy's chest measurements the stalking has gone too far..
I told my boyfriend that the thing I missed most about him was scratching his balls for him.
I'm drunk listening and crying to Selena. How's your Monday?
Also, my guy said they would be around. And i clarified that when I asked him for mushrooms he didn't hear "a mushroom or two" but rather understood I meant "all the mushrooms you can find between now and 4th of July."
I got so drunk last night that I was drunk in my dream. Good night
If he brings home bacon, dont let him leave. Dont screw this one up. this may be our last chance.
Randomize
