plz talk dirty to me
You are colorful like whore, yet adorable, like sad puppy. You need more drink.
Tequila bombs in champagne seemed like a good idea at the time.
It's a bathroom floor kind of morning.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Pretty sure I just convinced a drunk guy at the train station that I was from the future
Would you even take no as an answer? I have a feeling you see it more as a challenge.
Woke up on the stairs at my parents house. Good start to vacation.
Hey I came back and we made joints with the breathalyzers the cops left last night.
And then god smiled down upon me and he said let there be hangover food and let it be Wendy's
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He jizzed all over my ID badge. HR is gonna be pissed...
My one regret (beside the inevitable shit storm that followed) is that now I can't fuck his cute friend.
The stripper was dressed as the green lantern. Even for a geeky girls' bachelorette party it was lame ass.
you got into a really intense arguement about protecting bees. it was wierdly arousing.
also, when i showed up he started talking to me and eventually asked me if the girls treated me well. i went on to talk about my sex life. he was talking about his secretaries.
Thanks for fucking the skin off my dick
It was a joint effort between my vagina my feet and your hand you can't just blame that all on me
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