Come in. Grab a controller and a beer. We've got some Madden to beat.
You're the best girlfriend ever.
all adderall does is make me the grand champion of using wikipedia.
For his 21st I'm getting a fancy hotel that way he can at least sleep in a nice bathtub
having my hair in braids makes puking so easy. i am being an indian every halloween
thanks for celebrating my birthday so severely 2 years ago. i just found your hospital discharge papers in my closet.
anything for my little brother.
I specifically found a fat girl to lift me up on her shoulders.\n\nIt was glorious.
Okay throwing up in my mouth a little = time to go home
My Bio teacher gave me extra marks for putting "deer with AK-47 seeking retribution" at the top of the food chain on my exam. 51% pass here i come!!
At least you got a round of applause for dancing like vanilla ice across the street and into the bar. Even as you were getting carded
Dude. You gotta go home. I think I left the snake hanging on the chandelier.
My vag is like the Sahara
Ew that's gross.
The sad truth. Barren and empty.
HE PUT A HOLE. IN. MY. HOUSE!!!
Fuck this. I'm adopting 12 cats and naming them after the 12 disciples. Maybe Jesus will have sympathy for me then.
I know this sounds fake but she's deep frying a bar of soap right now
Come fucking get her
i'd like to schedule a penis for 4pm please.
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