You want to go to a white party at LAX
Clubs are lame especially themed ones. Im not in a fucking episode of laguna beach
yay america 4th of july drinking game. take a drink every time you hear or see a firework, finish your drink for a mention of mj or the gosselins, a shot for the words democracy,hope, freedom, terrorism
Tickle wars 95% of the time end in sex.
i just did the math...im a product of my mothers birthday sex
He just said he was the Jesus of alcoholics.
Currently doing my walk of shame down a floating dock. No more guys who live on a boat EVER AGAIN
I'm just gonna plan on never getting a bf. everything I touch turns to gay
I've liked him since I puked on him on my birthday so I want it to be special.
I'm trying to pinpoint the moment when "don't do anything I wouldn't do" became bad advise.
its not like i called off work either time for the purpose of tripping, it was more like well, i have nothing to do now today, there is acid and im only human.. but twice
The last time I've felt a woman's touch, the twin towers were compromised. You can wait like one week
I just sent a snapchat of my boobs for Adderall. It's finals season.
Dudes don't just lick butts of chicks they're not into.
Interesting. All i can really say is humanoid shaped doritos bags melting very slowly
I'm not talking about Donald Trump in the midst of sending you nudes
Randomize
