Call me "white mamba"
Your dick is not a dangerous deadly poisonous snake
It is white.
96 perecent sure i just took a shower with socks
sitting next to michael phelps in the airport. wonder if he's carrying...
Woke up this morning 8 levels higher in Call of Duty then when I started drinking... told you I was better when I was drunk.
Found my puke from September encrusted to the floor under the dresser while cleaning before move out ..... Oh Freshman year
its a long story involving jim bean, an owl, and a knife
I DON'T CARE LET'S GET DRUNK AND GO. I STRAIGHTENED MY HAIR DO THIS FOR ME.
As a fat white girl from Texas I can honestly say that she gave fat white girls from Texas a bad name.
I had to rip your toilet paper for you...
There's cereal in my underwear. Was I in your apartment at any time last night? That's the only logical explanation for this.
you really need to remember next time not to write your name and phone number on the paper its wrapped in.
But what if it got lost?
its illegal. you dont want people to contact you if they find it.
so much tequila, so little girl.
For the first time in my life, I still have money by the next payday. Who is this responsible person and what have they done with the real me?
You're the only person I know who would go to New Jersey to give a blowjob and I have so much respect for you for it
Shut up. I hate you. We're doing shots tomorrow. Fuck the consequences.
Randomize
