Ummmm I went to see who was upstairs, he was the only one in his room so we had sex while the travel channel played in the background.
Oh good. Romantic. Still, I'm jealous of the sex.
Probably not, since he made me promise not to tell anyone it only lasted ten seconds.
Slept with that guy from the bar last night. Only got 2 1/2 hours of sleep. Eyes were so bloodshot this morning that the principal sent me home b/c she thought I had pink eye. God I love teaching elementary school...
You know, if there were no such thing as marriage, i don't think porn would exist.
Just took a closer look at the paper that kid wrote me his number on. It was an ATM receipt. His balance is $17.89. i made the right choice.
I finally beat you i just fucked my professor last night!!!\n\n
sry, psychiatrist trumps professor
right as i was about to introduce them she goes "old fuck buddy, meet new fuck buddy."
There is a guy, stoned out of his mind, only wearing slippers and a bathrobe in the library.
Sober Sundays just aren't working out anymore.
Spent the entire ride home from downtown trying to convince designated dawgs to drop us off at waffle house instead of our apartment. i told them it was my house...they didn't buy it.
Let's be honest, your relationships fail because the man you're looking for is the equivalent of an intellectual blow-up doll.
Serious question: Should I volunteer to get tazered? My instincts say no but my wild side says yes.
I thought I could grab a hold of my stream of urine. So she left pretty soon after that.
Model at car show < day drinking with your favorite sister. Get your head in the fucking game Christopher.
Dude, I traded weed for crunch berries. Happy Thursday.
I don't know if I should feel proud or ashamed of myself...ashamed for making myself a drink at 6:15am or proud for actually being awake that early.
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