I can make a handprint turkey for extra credit in history. I feel like the word college should be in quotes on the school letterhead.
Note: fake nails and fingering anus.... Not a good idea
my vagina's been through so much this weekend
you mean so much has been through your vagina this weekend?
just fucked two guys in less than 12 hours. i miss this part of being single.
and by single i mean slutty
I don't think eating half of a pickle out of my mouth counts as getting to know me
She is crazy, dude. She actually bit me on the gootch.
She keeps telling me I can't keep feeding the dog my food. I gave half the weed brownie to the dog and half to me. I just want it to taste the greatness of cheezits like I am.
Well, I had a dudes gf walk in on us the next morning but nothing during...She shook my hand after I got dressed and said "nice to meet you with your clothes on" best moment of my life.
that is terrible, if I can't drink Gatorade when I'm hungover I don't wanna live in this world. that's like denying wild rams to run free in the wild and frolic
I swear every time I see him he's either dancing or trying to touch people
My moms new boyfriend looks like Stu Pickles if he was in a biker gang. He gave me free coke though, so come party?
On a scale of 1-10, how inappropriate is it to sneak into someone's box of sex toys and put googly eyes on their vibrator?
Someone wrote "LazerSwords" on my cock last night. My erect cock. Tequila is no one's friend.
He's really cute...He stopped talking to me because i pulled my skirt up and peed in a demi plie position...
Some Romanian guy at work just told me "you come my house, we drink beer and you come make fuck with my sister"
If he's not there watching you go for it. It's been a while bro.
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