I have show me your genitals stuck in my head. Except in spanish. Muestrame tus genitals. Tus genitals.
Was it cool?
About as cool as only getting a handjob on your honeymoon.
I need to have sex with someone before he does. I need to win this break up!
if all i could do was poop and smoke weed, i'd be eternally happy
amen to that sister
We walked in and the first thing we heard was, "OH SHIT! White chicks!" Naturally, I made some new male friends.
I discovered the grieving process is shock, denial, anger...and then something about drinking until you puke on yourself
Its 11am everyones wasted wearing sombreros and eating fresh produce..cesar chavez would be very proud
Someone had written "Boxmonsterette" on the bathroom wall and I just knew you'd been here.
I realized I used a copy of a biography of JFK as pillow last night...
Happy Fourth.
but real talk, he made 1 phone call last night and had someone bring us tacos at 3am so idk I might be inlove
He brought me hungover chipotle knowing full well he wasn't getting a blow job. I think he may be too in love with me.
she walked through the crowd, completely naked, slapped a pool attendant in the face and stole the towel he was carrying. she used it to dry her hair.
I went out to dinner with the girls thinking I'd be home early. Instead I ended up in the Englishman's hotel room. Long Live The Queen.
Fuck it. I'm going for it. You're only young once, right?
You've been saying that for 5 years now. Let me know when the novelty wears off.
I would go disguised as someone he didn't have premature ejaculative sex with but I don't know if I could stay in character.
Randomize
