Moving to Utah. Got sick of alcohol and have a severe wife shortage.
i just told a girl i would suck the alcohol out of a deoderant stick
it only took me 1 hour to write 8 pages. i'm never doing school work without adderall ever again.
I wish i had more things to dip in ranch... That's the most stoner thing i've ever said
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you called your neighbor "slutsauce" then passed out on the stairway. not even sure why, but props to you.
Is it bad of me to apply as a night shift counselor at a boys orphanage purely because of how laid that would get me at bars?
We got baked and watched the cheetah girls on Netflix
You need to not admit that.
Well good for him for getting your number before he told you he had no money and needed you to pay for his drink!
Please tell me I didn't help an old woman shave her vagina last night. Please.
That's the least of the fucked up shit you did last night dude.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He said "I can't wait for you to feel me inside of you so I can tell you gently that you're mine" and left me a 4 minute voice mail of him crying after I told him I didn't want to be with him. 30 year olds are off limits.
This was like angel cum on the bread of life filled with the nectar of the gods
He got an erection from helping me mobilize my lumbar spine. I love physical therapy school.
Reminding you of hookups your brain is trying to suppress. That's what friends are fooooooooor...
You threw up at the outdoor bar and it was pretty...astonishing just how much can come out of such a small human.
Fuck the system, do you have any medieval weapons?
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