Your girlfriend is a south jersey whore
you're drinking in the law library????
...not a bad idea....
probably not a good idea either.
i have a new swear word: supercalifuckaliciousexpialadamnit
Bts the comment you were making during that picture was "look we have penises"
yes he's amazing in bed. he made me like, black out. everything went black it was weird. so yes, i'd fuck him again. plus, he has every season of buffy on dvd
Only if you bring Listerine. I can't come home to my husband from a bachelorette party with spermbreath again.
You said you were going inside to sober up and then you poured yourself a wine glass of warm gin
I drunken agreed to go wedding dress shopping with a stranger at the bar yesterday. She sent me an email asking what days I am free.
Oh that could end badly if you get them mixed up.. you know who I think you should focus on?? THE ONE WITH THE BIG BLACK COCK, just sayin
I didnt finish. My brain kept playing the duck tales theme thru the entire blow job
She's chasing her own tail and is afraid of her own feet. My stoner cat, ladies and gentlemen.
VASECTOMY FOR THE WIN
She's nice. But even when I am with her I am thinking of her mom, literally the hottest woman on earth.
I'm the one who said we should take things slow. I'm also the one who forced him into the back on my car so we could have sex.
Need to use your shower bro.
FWB wearing glitter again?
It’s like she’s marking her territory
Randomize
