my boss just made his own remix to aaron carter's i want candy. i cant decide if its the funniest or most embarrassing thing ive seen
this boner is fucking legendary. i should name it and celebrate its birthday every year
Just saying. If you end up in canada tomorrow morning at least youll have my text to remind you how it happened
For the record, saying you're friends with the owner doesn't work when the owner is the one throwing you out.
That sucks about the drama. But hey, it's always a good day when you see someone get tazed!
She frightens me and turns me on at the same time. She's a keeper
Restraining order pending?
I wanna just rip ass and see his reaction but i bet itd be better to shatter that illusion when hes drunk
We kind of broke a table making out. So yes, I'd say it was successful.
My greatest achievement in life thus far is being the go to friend when you have questions about butt plugs.
I am 95% sure I just heard my cat say "What are you doing home? It's Saturday night."
No biggie, just trying to keep my liver function in the green
She forgot a bra so she just used seran wrap. The scary thing is, it worked.
Oh yeah I meant to tell you the Tomb Raider looking girl so crop dusted me on the stairway
I legit measured his penis against my chapstick and it was too close to call. So that was my night.
I'm sorry, but the bed has won this battle. I got up, changed my shirt, combed my hair, put on some deodorant, and then looked at my bed and got back in
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