I can tuck mytits in my pants
thank god he doesn't hang out with everyone else i've had sex with
well, yeah, he can't fit the whole neighborhood in his apartment
Just farted in public and tried to sniff it all up before anyone noticed...do you think that actually works?
I literally ate my thanksgiving dinner while getting a lapdance. And honestly, after that, there is no other way.
just bought a $25 eighth from a chick who has a kid. i'm helping my community out right?
Eliza got arrested. What's the protocol on eating an arrested person's sandwich?
Riding on an electric horse at the grocery store... dunno how that conversation went but I hope you picked up a 12 pack.
I'm laying here in fetal position. I feel like a traffic cone
Now that weed is legalized There needs to be reusable bags for people to pick up with. All this plastic is so bad for the environment and a waste
I'm not allowed back because I may or may not have insulted his beer. And the entire Czech Republic.
No,she came up with a new game: "Where is the most interesting place I can show Drew my asshole?"
premonition: im going to wake up covered in mashed potatoes
She was a little thick, but we banged on the beach and fireworks went off as we finished so I think God wanted it
Its like the floor is slow but life is fast?
I see you found the nyquil...
We're at an agreement where I don't pry and she pretends blissful ignorance
Randomize
