Miracle whip is the devil's jizz.
As gay men are we obligated to learn the Single Ladies dance.
So I had a Liz Lemon moment today....went to Chipotle to get my "cheer me up" burrito bowl for the 4th time this week and the chipotle guy sighed and said always the same huh?
since i spend so many of my nights sleeping on the bathroom floor i think im going to remove all toiletries from under my sink and replace them with a pillow and blanket.
His was the first dick to ever be in my mouth... Of course I'm going to the wedding.
i just got cum up my nose. i would have expected more from the captain of the men's lacrosse team
Do you think the party boat will still go out if there is a hurricane?
btw found the cat. he didn't appreciate the toilet bath.
How do the freshmen here NOT understand the tricks we are playing on them by now? Doesn't bode well for grad numbers. Idiots.
she's drunk at 2 in the afternoon again. at least my mother is predictable.
FYI, announcing your arrival at jail with "Hi,yes, I'm checking in? I believe I've reserved a bed, a 2 night stay this weekend?" is, in fact, frowned upon
You were throwing cups at people in the basement, yelling at them to get out of your swamp.
I think sunday funday got a little out of control. There is cheese slices and BBQ sauce all over the roof and 4 empty bottles of vodka in my room.
The guy next to me on the bus has one hole in his jeans that has over 20 mini dicks drawn on his leg. Classic.
I seriously just rolled a joint on my high school diploma. I feel like I've come so far.
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