Fyi mom and I voted and you're the DD tonight, congratulations
i say over christmas we have a beer pong competition with the cousins and see who really has the best genes in the family.
guess they didn't have any donuts in her size.
So last week was the 4th time a girl cried after sex. I'm seriously doing something wrong
would it be completely unacceptable to smoke a cig outside naked? im already doing it so what you say doesn't matter.
As an added bonus, you will have a "25 blowjobs a month" voucher, expiring thirty days after the first initial bj.
Calm the fuck down fatty, you can add creme de menthe to a vanilla shake any time of the year
He handed me a temporary tattoo and said cover the hickey up with this
What kind of present accurately says to my male suitemate "I'm sorry that I accidentally flashed you my vagina while I was super drunk"?
Well I'm in a stranger's bed.
Gotta leave to watch the Lions
Dude I just realized i did a camper walk of shame in front of amish people. I should have asked for cheese and a home made pie to cover it up. Im just lost shopping in amish country nothing to see here
So what you're saying is that The Magic Kingdom is ruining our plans to get laid?
I screenshoted his dick pic the other day because it literally looked like a brontosaurus. Like that really tall dinosaur that eats grass. Like I wanna draw a face on it.
If you think me talking about that hot guy accepting my LinkedIn request is pornographic, I’m not sure how you’re gonna feel when I tell you I fucked a stranger on a park bench last weekend
How did the test come back?
I've never been so happy to have a yeast infection. And i got a free pack of birth control
Randomize
