On blowjobs: "If you decide to go there, you finish the job. No complaining." I don't care if it sounds like she's talking about Iraq, I'm in love.
she was so "full of love" from watching twilight that she came over and gave me a handjob. when does the next movie come out?
There's a girl sitting in front of me making a PowerPoint on Jack Bauer.
Be here at 3:30. We'll find out how much beer can fit in a Mini Cooper.
She carries her pencils in a crown royal bag... Need I say more?
Not going out tonight. And so the 25 day drinking streak ends....
I think the best part was when you jumped over me naked.
Gonna bang his former student. Clearly I am winning this breakup.
I've decided I want to blow you wearing a santa hat.
Aren't rabbit ears more seasonally appropriate?
Trying to convince myself that everyone keeps staring at me because I'm pretty and not because of my hickies.
I'm literally taking a shit naked holding a bottle of wine.
I had to dig my own trench to puke in at the resort. That much fun.
I mayyyyy have moaned a name that wasn't his
he sent me a picture of him holding out his pinky so we could pinky promise. i have to fuck him now
Her mom Is so hot that when she was bending over i just zoned out starin at her ass her dad slapped me on the back an said let me tell you son everything you see here is mine and you had better realize i felt like simba
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