I see an opportunity for you to use your nakedness to cure my boredom.
we were having sex in the bathroom when his aunt knocked on the door
and rather than go out and meet her, i climbed out the window. so now she thinks he was masturbating and moaning his own name in a really girly voice
So what's the moral of this story? Aside from 'lesbians hold grudges'?
if you don't let us come over today i'm not taking the second plan b pill. your call.
I'm in the dining hall. that same guy is here again, the one who sits alone and talks to his silverware.
To justify your stumbling you just kept yelling 'it's the boat, not the drinks' We hadn't even left the dock yet....
We welcome drunken adversity.
With open legs.
I just saw a wasted dude crawl out of the road at 2 in the afternoon. Big question- still drunk from the weekend or hitting the soju already?
My bathing suit kept falling whenever I went under a wave and this kid caught on and kept checking them out so I told him nothing comes free $5 a boob
Can someone please explain where the fish in the mason jar came from when we were at a bar all night?
You told the bartender if he gave you one of the fish you'd go away
I could be busy drinking my face off and getting red white and bruised per usual
Sorry I punched you in the throat. You got in my way. You understand.
I told him I had an IUD and he asked me how was a bomb a form of birth control..
You can call me ugly and you can call me fat,but don't you EVER say my meme game is weak.
I almost suffocated in that mask but she kept calling me Jeremy so I kept it on.
Randomize
