Roller skating + drunkeness + peeing = mess
why is it whenever you puke in the park there are always little kids on the swings?
he's having a long distance Facebook-coordinated power hour. the status update has 159 comments ...
about to play the homeward bound drinking game. alone. what are you doing tonight?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I had to go to the front counter of the restaurant and ask for the key because I was "pretty sure my friend is passed out in the bathroom right now"
He was wearing his Class of 2007 shirt so I sat there for 5 minutes and read all the names of the guys I can remember giving head to.
You yelled "sharpie war!" then jammed it in her ear
I got about 15 snapchats from you with your hand saying "you want cheese sticks" or something like that and one of some weird looking weed
Thanks for the Beyonce article. In other news, I just passed a man with the state of Florida tattooed on his face.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm going to start charging you rent if you keep leaving your random conquests on my living room couch the morning after
That was right around the time that the drunken mess pulled out his dick in front of myself and like 10 other people and started peeing all over the train platform while saying, "Sometimes a bear gets you brother. Sometimes a bear gets you."
Pretty standard Thursday night commute for you, no?
I love you but this is the first Saturday I have ever spent at the police station. And where are my boxers?
I did what i always do when i miss him; masturbate and watch Bridges of Madison County.
For the love of god, if any of you are up, bring me pants.
He said my vagina smelled like pomegranates. Its like my vagina is the fountain of youth.
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