just saw a prosititute with a baby stroller...question is...if the baby wakes up is the blow job free?
her nose should be used as a dorsal fin
It was confusing and full of hummus
just spent all of my last class as a college student, vomiting in the bathroom. its moments like these i will cherish
Just spent a extra 20 minutes on the phone with the lady from unemployment talking about how to make the best brownies.
There is a pube in my fucking eyeball
just let her blow you already, it's practically animal cruelty at this point.
Well pretty sure I lost 3 of my best friends in one week. Remember when I said I wasn't sure if I was gonna be a better person or a more despicable one in 2012. Despicable wins.
She pulled a wad of lint out of my bellybutton while she was blowing me. Said she's never seen anything like it. I've never gone soft so fast.
There is not enough soap in the world to make me feel clean after last night. Im gonna need jesus for this one
Is it bad that I'm a 32 year old woman that is so afraid of commitment that a hamster is too much responsibility?
Would it be sad if I made a blanket fort to get drunk in till the power came back?
I have a knack for carnage and poetic language.
Get here now. There’s a guy dressed as Captain Morgan handing out miniature bottles of Captain Morgan.
I did put on a shirt to start the night, right?
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