My brain says no but my pants say off.
the smoke from my cigarette strangely resembles what patrick swayzes ghost will look like.
while we were having sex she stopped and said, "god is always watching". Then she started again with no other words said. We were fucked up.
Idk, it's Grover wearing a sombrero. Do I need a reason?
just found glitter in my belly button...seriously when will this nightmare end
And next time please put a text between discussing my orgasms and discussing your son - that was weird.
He looks like he got hit by a weed-eater with chlamydia
Also, you peed on your hand last night. Id just like to point that out
Skip school. Seven hour blow job Plus Disney movies. Day of champions
Was it you who made out with a toothless guy last night?
I woke up in a tow truck cuddling plan b. Can you pick me up?
in the midst of studying i picked up my capsule full of untouched weed, popped it open, and whispered "soon" into it. midterms man
So I stole cocaine from one of my Tinder hookups
And that is the most millennial sentence I've ever said
She has an alarming number of pictures with cat ears but the sex is amazing.
Guess how much it costs to flush your pants down the toilet?
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