"Monday" is guna come over...
but its Thursday?
yeah, but she cant make it.Monday can...so there ya go
i just drank a strangers drink off a toilet
My BOSS just pulled out a box of Christmas stuff labeled reefs.
Then they all walked away with the drinks I bought them, and the fat one slapped me in the face. I left and my car had been towed. Worst night ever.
The guy is drinking 5 bottles of beer in a juice pitcher. Fucking amazing.
Fucking him was like shopping for my first training bra.. Embarrassing yet extremely useful
luckily my workout playlist doubles as a masturbation playlist.
All I wanted was a quiet evening to masturbate and eat cake and instead you ruined it by bringing girls over.
I just want to eat and sleep til I'm dead. I should've been born a cat.
I hate being the only medical professional in the group. I always end up patching you guys or being the DD when I'm on call. I have problems I need to drown in booze too...
Just when I thought I was growing up, I go out and TOTALLY REDEEM MYSELF
Just wiped the ashes off my forehead before he came over to have sex. Definitely going to hell.
where did we go last night? there's dollar bills all over my room & they're all wet.
When your guy changes his swinger profile to include you. #makingprogress
The blonde cop looked at my license and told me I better have be home when her shift ends
I hate you
Randomize
