Ok let's jusst not talk today bc then we'll just do dangerous things but I'll say hello
all i need in life is blowjobs and white cheddar cheezits
She wore that goddamn strap-on all night. When she was playing guitar hero it kept getting in the way but she just wouldn't take it off.
Shots and making dong molds for my gf's friends. Typical Monday night activities.
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Thanks, college. Tonight's decisions brought to you by margs in a nalgene.
Should I tell him the real reason I was in the hospital, or should I just keep him thinking the side effect he thought was in for was allergy related, not I just miscarried the child I didn't know we were having?
If you end up at a gay bar on a tuesday night in steelers pjs, does that mean youve hit rock bottom?
I was mid hand job and stopped me because he wanted to "connect" which meant putting his thumb in between my eyebrows and a hand over my heart and closing our eyes...
he had a beard, sexy nerd glasses and kept referring to his penis as 'this dick' its like jesus was saving my perfect match for my prime
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was just hotboxing under my sheets and I got lost on the way out.
It was so scary.
Some girl woke me up at 1:30 am looking for weed and the next thing I know I'm in a hot tub with 3 girls, 2 40's, and a blunt.
See this is where I mess up.. I get distracted by the option of consistent sex and free beer
It will be the shitshow of all shitshows.
I feel like people expect me to always be a sarcastic, shade throwing drunk. And you know me, I hate to disappoint.
Like honey no, I’m getting groceries while pretending that having sexy talk with you is turning me on
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