i'm at sigma nu and gary is here. what do it do?
Stay away from his face.
so i go for his dick?
Is it bad that when I see babies I feel bad for them because its going to be forever until they are 21?
My fight-or-flight response is really more fight-or-fuck
So how do we make 4/20 better than every other day we are stoned?
its 4am. im standing over him in my bed eating chinese food, on the phone with dan trying to convince him to break up with his gf. whoredom.
I don't think she considers it a date unless she publicly urinates
The weed is temporarily burning the grammar section of my brain library.
Its perfect, I supply the pot she makes the brownies. I love the culinary dept.
I spent half an hour sculpting my pubes into a perfect triangle of really short hair, and the first thing he said when he saw it was "Don't you think you need a shave?"
How many times have we said we'd stop taking Jell-O shots with strangers?
Anyone who does not consider cereal and wine as a balanced breakfast needs to leave immediately.
He fucked my brains out then fed me cheese and peanut butter. I might be in love.
He showed up soaking wet with a flashlight and a ping pong ball. I couldn't say no
Well we've always known you have a weakness for guys with balls in their hands
i think i passed out for a few seconds while we were having sex but he didnt notice...
Note to self: dont wear a butt plug for several hours and then go gym and try and do squats
Randomize
