you keep denying me to hang out, should i take a hint?
you keep asking me after midnight, should i take a hint?
i love rice pilaf. whoever invented that i would give them a hug.
He has been begging me for a Bj but doesnt want to get mono
How is he gunna get mono? is he gunna suck on his dick after you?
Is it bad to get into the ocean at night? i always thought sharks hated the smell of vomit after drinking
Pitchers of shots should be outlawed. I've puked more than i've breathed in the past half hour.
You told the cop FUCK YOU AND YOUR TASER, i dont think he appricaited that
I just want to let you know how hung over I am today and I fucked a girl in a kangaroo costume last night.
I'm so happy I'm only on my second drink. That would have been the best idea ever if I was on my fifth.
I'm busy watching infomercials. I'd say I'll join you later, but I'm doing a shot every time they demonstrate how difficult life is WITHOUT this product. So I doubt I'll be able to walk in another... Maybe 40 minutes.
But feel free to join! A new infomercial starts in 12 minutes.
my cockatiel has aquired a taste for beer. I should not be allowed to own exotic pets.
I hung my underwear from the tree in his front yard. Consider my territory marked.
I wanna hang out. The cats don't talk back.
Stop calling my penis "Fat Jesus"
I think I’ve been affected by his dad mustache. I wanna ride it.
I admire the fact that you replicated my apartment on the roof but I would appreciate it more if you would move all my stuff off the roof and back into my apartment.
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