She was like a white Oprah, but with less conviction.
Disadvantage of being gay..... my gag reflexes makes trying to make myself throw up extremely difficult.
I decided that not getting a job after college is gods way of telling me I will make a great housewife
Idk yet. Trying to convince him to get a phoenix bird tattoo first
I've done nothing but whore my gay ex bf out for the past 48 hours. It's getting weird.
I'm sitting next to some random guy in a gorilla suit drinking out of a bottle of vodka.
He's majoring in Religion
He Facebook stalked his way right into my pants.
just go where the car takes you. fingers crossed its here with breakfast.
We had 15 min before last call. Exact quote "let's see how drunk we can get."
There is a hatefuck that has the destruction level of an atom bomb raging through my viens just aching to vaporize her.
you texted him "it's time for the no pants dance", please get your tubes tied.
omg his dad is hot
... I'm currently away at the moment. Leave a msg since I cannot express how much I can't help you stop ruining peoples lives.
My 12 o'clock class is an all star team of my ex's hook ups
We need some Captain and Fanta. That shit will change your life. Sidenote, bring an IV drip to hook me to in the morning
I woke up with a giant paw print on the side of my face, my jaw hurts, and I have no idea how any of this happened.
Randomize
