Gonna be late. Someone jumped in front of our train.
He fucking owes me dinner after I gave him head under the deck behind the bar.
airport. 106 proof japanese liquor. 4 little travel size containers. im proud to be smarter than the average american.
My alcohol tolerance is way too high for this paycheck.
Today the house voted to defund Planned Parenthood but to continue funding NASCAR. I fucking hate everything.
I'll wind up on his doorstep with a confused "oh you live here" expression, a feigned ankle injury and a seemingly fortunately placed bottle of tequila. I don't care what it takes: HIS MOUTH WILL BE ON MOUTH.
Well, if you're getting/have gotten your dick sucked, you're welcome. If not, I tried. Step up your game, pussy. I pulled a MacGuyver and got mine. No excuses bro.
He probably thinks you're playing hard to get.
Hard to get?? I'm playing leave me the fuck alone.
Directions to your booty call: go down the part of Route 66 that has all the car dealerships, motels and bad decisions, go past the Christian college and turn left at the Children's Center.
He was leaving the restaurant I was going to as I was parking. I didn't want to scream, "hey, didn't I jerk you off?" Out of my window at 10 am
If I was banging all the guys that people think I am, I'd quit buying batteries.
Idk if I deserve a medal or a one way ticket to hell
Same encounter she body slammed me to the floor and than humped me
I was the only one in group sessions to bring up sex as a stress reliever. Some of those people were awfully judgy despite the fact we were all in a psych ward.
Literally just stood behind a guy in line at Walmart get his card declined when he attempted to purchase condoms. That's rock bottom.
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