Well, she's an atheist who is addicted to the Sims.
Who isn't?
that cunt stole my fb status. SHE'S NOT THAT FUNNY
until you tell me otherwise ill assume we're playing "cavity search" the homeland security game to spice up our sex life
Well when you're drinking tequila mixed with water out of a steve Austin cup I really don't think acquiring a straw is your main priority
Some guy seriously just got Jimmy Johns delivered to him at the graduation ceremony. This cannot be real life.
The gay bar tender told me I looked like Prince William. And that I needed my balls licked.
Her mom is home on her lunch break. Guess who's hiding In the Closet?
Standing on the street at 6am in Hong Kong drinking beer. Watching all the hookers do the walk of shame from our hotel. How did I get here? Maybe all my bad choices in my life were really good ones?
Just heard the girl at the bar cuss her bf out and order a long island ice tea. Going to give it 5 min then I'm going in. See you on the other side.
Dinner?
YES CON MARGARITAS POR FAVOR!!!! MUCHO MARGARITAS!!!
Hey mom, soo do we have a family lawyer or am I on my own for that?
New discovery: your vibrator works on my balls. Technology is wonderful I love the future
Your favorite boobs are sending you seasons greetings
I put the area codes from ludacris' "area codes" into our expensive data visualization software at work, it's been a productive day
When she's hammered the amount of alliteration that comes out of her mouth is amazing.
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