im officially scared..,i finally realized who my boyfriend reminds me of! spencer pratt
what do kids with lesbian moms do for father's day? like do you talk about it? is it awkward? do you get the butchy mom a card?
this is your 3rd pregnancy scare in 2 years, I think its time for you to re-evaluate the whole 'im a lesbian' thing
Just had lapdance from stripper that had her 5th kid 28 hours earlier. A for work ethic.
What are you wearing tonight?
The colors of the winddddddd
He can spot Burberry from half a bar away. He's not into vag
I'm currently looking through google images of circumsized penises and realizing how vital pre-marital sex is.
Found a grenade pin. Still no Dave.
I did the walk of shame in nothing but a sleeping bag and now I'm on my way to pick up plan B. Let's not make a habit of this.
Sounds like a good New Years
I know more about this girls vagina than I know about her personality
Just had a guy try to pull the maraca out of my shirt with his teeth... Wtf
Discovery: there is a folder in my pictures labeled "Your Name and cats"
Pretty sure I have a sex related back injury. I'm not sure if I should be proud or ashamed.
If you needed to get laid tonight all you had to do was ask
I've seen too many naked penises for this to be a normal Monday morning
Randomize
