Just ran to the store on my way to the office to buy Diet Coke...the guy in front of me let me cut because it was 4 more minutes until 8am, so he wouldn't be able to purchase his vodka. I love Wisconsin
Nobody needs to come anywhere. Except on your face.
If you die in college, do you die in real life?
I woke up with a solved rubics cube in my purse
Yeah Greg found him eating out of a tuna can with a pill cap
Please come back. She just stuck her bloody band-aid to Zach's face, has a fire extinguisher, and is talking about tornados hiding.
Whenever I walk away from the group without saying anything, NEVER assume I'm just going to the bathroom.
We need to step up our tailgating...they're here drinking out of a prosthetic leg
Would I chase a raccoon with a flaming stick sober?
The guy next to me just said he wont play beer pong on principle. Im scared.
exhale infront of a fan. self shotgun.
I woke up sick this morning, maybe sucking a random dudes finger at a bar last night wasn't that clean of an idea.....
Dude get here. I just re-invented nachos. For real though. They werent real before right now
Well I didn't know she was a dominatrix...so I kind of just went with it
And then you two got up and shouted in near perfect unison "I'M ALWAYS A SLUT FOR BASKIN ROBBINS" The bar just looked at us horrified.
Randomize
