what happened last night??
everyone saw ******'s vagina
and that's just the beginning
it sounds like her vocal chords are covered in pudding and rocks. come get me.
everytime i eat a fruit i feel like i'm eating ovaries
margarita scented body wash shouldn't be used the morning after cuervo. there should be a warning on the label.
you made your own hammock out of a towel and duct tape.
im already regretting the extreme lack of break up sex that took place
I tried to put a seat belt on in the shower. And I'm 80% sure I ate soap.
you're going to have to hot glue me into my dress tonight. there's no way out.
He counted every piece of macaroni in the box and then faceplanted into the bowl
What color suit is the proper "i banged the bride" attire?
Congratulations on your lack of fetus.
I'm beginning to think that women just have dogs at home as an excuse to leave ASAP after hooking up, without sounding like a typical guy.
So what if you don't want to be with your family. Go drink alone and watch Netflix like a normal person, don't be productive!
i came so much i feel like i were to try again, only dust would come out. and maybe glitter
My first hangover at work. I'm officially an adult.
Randomize
