I just chugged a whole pitcher of beer in 1 min. 9 sec. A whole goddamn pitcher.
apparently vodka and oj turns green when you throw it up
basic color theory
he wanted me to dress up like someone from lord of the rings. I dumped him.
I guess the cop knew i was on a walk of shame and felt bad...i got to play with the siren the rest of the way home
the boy next to me on the plane handed me a shot glass, then a perkaset, and told me to have a good week off..hellllo spring break.
My mom just asked me if I was gay in front of my gf
Thank you blackberry messenger, for giving me a way to sext faster and more efficiently
You held your own hair and threw up into a red cup...I think they were more amazed than upset.
she pulled the sheets over her head to blow me but the static kept making little lightning bolts and I was too high and got really scared she was going to electrocute me.
I mean nobody wants to admit they ate 9 cans of ravioli but i did and i am not ashamed of myself
New low. Just realized I hooked up with a guy from Grindr in the hallway of a building my great grandfather used to own..
It'd probably just be a lot of profanity and hyperventilation and deteriorating into tears anyways
so just a regular conversation then
I didn't want to have shaved for no reason, so I told him I'd blow him if he would just come over and appreciate the smoothness of my legs.
Not remembering where I left my grinder before vacation #stonerproblems
No joke. There's a picture of the priest I made out with on my parents' refrigerator.
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