I'm drunk in f*****g wisconsin and want to kill myself.
If it's any consolation, be grateful that you're not in New Jersey.
Grilled cheese is the best thing. ever. better than boys, and alcohol, and sex, and chocolate, and money. But not really the last two.
Me + Nice restaurant + Copious amounts of booze + obscene comments to couples = valentine's day plans
Ended the weekend putting away 30 nuggets. Training for 100.
Finals week has gone away, doo dah doo dah, drink martinis naked day oh da doo dah day
be ready to rage tomorrow. like naked ranch dressing rage
Holy shit he's circumcised. His parents must have really loved him.
I messaged him asking for his address. He replied with the address then said, "If you're gonna stalk me, I'm the third window on the side and usually get naked around 8am and anytime randomly after 6pm (listen for music).. If you're sending anthrax, I'm 6'2" 225lbs so send a good amount."
I am going to buy some m-80's and keep a bucket of them in the bathroom. That way I can just depth charge the toilet before each time I use it. Lets see how those snakes like cheap Chinese explosives
Its so bad though\nOur relationship has gotten to the point where im posing nude with a swiffer
When I go out tonight I need to make sure to be really good. The Easter bunny doesn't deliver to jail
im not letting a little injury get in the way of my alcoholic/drug problems. we ARE getting turnt tonight.
How's my sex life is me mastubating next to her dog. that's how it's going.
VASECTOMY FOR THE WIN
Sorry. Im too sleepy to penis.
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