if by 'bottleservice' you mean 'bringing beers in my purse' then yes, we are.
Friday was tragic. I was naked on top of him and he didn't have a condom. Oh and he had an Obama poster on the wall in front of his bed so our president was staring down at me while I was naked. I felt sorta bad.
You should've just screamed yes we can!
He came in my nose, then said it would help clear my sinuses.
it's only monday and im already failing all my classes. i give up. tequila tuesday is my only friend.
On a totally unrelated note, captain four hour sexcapades lost it in his boxers this morning and tried to pretend it didnt happen. Lmao
all i remember is walking in on u shitting and crying listening to shawty get loose. its safe to say this break up has taken a toll on u
Hootey the Owl eats a mean pussy.
Um, OK. WTF?
The guy from the Halloween party. We finally hooked up. Went down in me for 45 mins. Came 4 times.
If his smile makes you freak out and drop things imagine what his penis could do
I swear, the cow we tried to tip tried to eat me. and all I could think was, oh how the tables have turned. worst trip ever
I just dumped the bloody coke bill into the tip jar while getting my hangover coffee. I'm literally going to hell.
I told some guy on tinder, that apparently has a prosthetic leg, that I think we started off on the wrong foot. I hate myself...
I woke up with a pube in my teeth...I'm disturbed cause we're both clean shaven
I wore my old cheerleading uniform.. He came before I even touched his dick. Should I be irritated, or flattered?
Well, if you do die, I'll bedazzle your coffin.
You shoulda seen me try and clean up custard from an eclair off the floor while trying to pretend to be sober for my mom. Fucking hilarious.
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