Please advise as to how precisely ashamed I should be if I just became sexually aroused by a Harry Potter and the Half Blood Prince preview
Why are all the lights on in my house? Every single one. Someone should turn them off but I'm the only one here and I'm sure as hell not doin it.
i forgot beer had calories. that would explain alot.
My goal for this summer is to make enough extra money to be able to afford the ticket for water skiing naked.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I swear it started with good intentions but then my slutty side took over and we started playing strip checkers
i must've hopped out the car and eaten some leaves...even when your'e drunk that's not acceptable
He yelled "juice on the loose", yes i am sure i need plan b
A DRUNK EMT IS BETTER THAN NO EMT!!!
If one of us has to be polite I guess I won't sneak out while he's in the shower
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The dick pic bandit just sent me a poem about showering..
I broke my foot jumping out of YOUR window under YOUR watch. You failed me drunk guardian. You failed.
Just got a motivational speech from the tacobell drive thru guy at 2am
not ubering you a puppy
I think it may be easier if I stay drunk/high til the wedding. You game?
If it makes you feel any better I almost got kicked out of the bar for yelling "enjoy your celebratory incest"
I love you.
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