My pee smelled like sake this morning it was sooo disgusting.
Question: why is there a dildo glued to my kitchen table?
is not sure whether or not everyone at the club last night calling me a-easy is a good thing?
He invited me to see "alison wonderland" WHAT THE FUCK THATS NOT A FIRST NAME/LAST NAME TYPE DEAL
is it bad that listening to the rabbi's wife talk about how we should only be with one person is making me really, really horny for no string attached sex
If I could have all the money back from the pregnancy test i've bought- I could buy myself a vacation.
Or a large amount of condoms?!?
You should probably wake up already as I have yet another story for you. Teaser? Blood from knife wound. Tequila. Guitar hero. Kitchen counter. Lawyer.
Oh, and for future reference, telling a guy that your ass is too tight for anal is like painting a bullseye on it.
I basically have a picture with a half naked foreign exchange student. He kept screaming rolltide and i felt like a traitor
Believe it or not, that's part of the whole 'best friend' thing. It's not just yelling at me for making you leave the club early or taking the couch bc I'm doing sex while you're doing bjs.
He was bigger soft than my ex was hard. A gold medal rebound.
I don't think stranger penis made your tonsils bleed
He compared my ass to "a 13 year old track star's ass." Umm WTF? Is that supposed to be a compliment? And when I questioned boy or girl he said "either."
She was blowing me like a porn star and all I could think was "you just told me your grandfather is dying in hospice right now"
Sextember may be over, but Cocktober is just beginning!!!
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