Yet again my drunken self has managed to find his way into the middle of nowhere with no shoes or recollection of what happened last night.
Then I guess you don't remember me driving you there after you tried making out with my girlfriend, dipshit.
I just found 22 drunken videos and 4 naked pictures on my phone. We'll start the bidding at $5
She was ugly to the point i wanted to brush my teeth after looking at her
You are colorful like whore, yet adorable, like sad puppy. You need more drink.
So the girl in front of me was buying champagne too .. I wanted to be like "so are you celebrating clean test results too?"
he made his penis look like a sprinkler when he was coming. it was pretty cool actually.
My adult sexuality and some of the best memories of my childhood collided like a Pee Wee Herman wet dream.
Elaborate
Strip Mario-Kart
Just traded the drive-through guy at BK a Dos Equis for a Hershey pie before noon... win?
She was lying on the table chugging back something when the table broke
She kept going
It's not socially acceptable to be drunk in adult world. That fact makes me die a little inside.
And then we will celebrate by drinking and making fun of him. As per usual.
We were cuddling in his bed and I asked him a question and followed by making a microphone with my hand and told him to speak into it. If he never talks to me again that's probably why.
I'm gonna watch porn and nap. I think I really have this Valentine's Day thing down
Your the only girl I know that carries a $1100 purse with tater tots inside
Brother gave me a harry potter philosophy book for xmas we need to get stoned and talk about this.
Randomize
