i'm sleeping with myself tonight because i remember my name and i won't regret it in the morning. sorry.
Just found my girlfriend's stash of animated Japanese porn
And to think, I actually considered breaking up with her
So theres a slight possibility i may not graduate according to planned because i was out getting laid instead of studying. And im okay with that.
The new google images is a smorgasbord of porn now are plans for tonight are off.
You cant give me a fifth of god damn jim beam and expect me not to cheat on my gf.
he's totally gay but hes wondering what hes missing out on. Im going to show him.
no pressure.
I had fun this weekend too. According to Web MD, my symptoms say I had a miscarriage.
sleazy september. first one with mono loses.
we couldn't find any funnels so we taped a spaghetti strainer to a pool noodle and it worked fairly well
I left my coke in the bird nest in the bathroom stall last night but I found it nest and all in my purse I love morning suprises
I truly just stopped puking in my 730 am calculus class, looked up, corrected my professor, then resumed puking my eyes out. He was both impressed and disgusted.
I feel like I should have backed off when "I love you" came out on the third date. Now I'm in her bed wondering which door my shrine is behind. Fuck.
There were 7 of us cowering in the kitchen because you were swinging a giant, pink double headed dildo around like a nunchuk and hitting anyone who came near you with it.
My freshman suitemate just walked into the kitchen to find my fuck buddy making chicken enchiladas without me anywhere to be found. Awkward or awesome?
I wasn’t trying to be creepy it just happened
I’m beginning to think that’s your defining personality trait.
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