if you come down to my room ill tell you a secret
He's been sleeping iwht ***
Nooo
Yeah I don't even know how, she looks like her mom smoked crack while she was in the womb
And then hit her in the face with a shovel
come outside for a special surprise it involves huge boobs
Had a couple pieces of pizza for breakfast...suck on that Jamie Oliver.
I've never seen a kid turn down a sure thing for a possible handy by a freshmen. You need to re-evaluate.
I wouldn't fuck her. Looks like her vagina smells like a seaside orgy.
Just did a keg stand the dropped my phone in the toilet. Sorry for partying.
You did a keg stand on the toilet?!
Can we put this graduation on the shelf figuratively and go drink
Once again I am on the toilet and refuse to get up
What a great time to reflect on life
Hello, the Less Drunk that has my sister's phone. I am the Moderately Drunk. I am questioning your Friday activities. Why are you not the More Drunk?
Andy was trying to screw his door shut from the inside so no one could get in.
I think I'm making a tradition of going to every funeral with at least one sex-related bruise. I don't know how this happened.
What the World Series means to me is that I've slept with too many giants fans.
I don't think tits should taste like fish.
Does fucking him in the back of the car with the sun roof retracted count as star gazing?
Randomize
