Raging hang over. 6AM finish. Shat on a bag of trash in an alley. D L that last bit.
I told him I was prego. He asked coul we do it without a condom now since I cldn't get any pregnanter. What an a-hole.
He did a double fist pump when he discovered the Magnums fit and skipped back towards the bed.
you threw up out the window, wiped your face with a twenty dollar bill, and threw that out the window too.
did we at least go back and get it?
how else do you think we got jack in the box...?
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i hooked up with some kid with a broken arm and he wouldnt even let me sign his cast
Hey, did you take me to hospital last night?
His "hunger Strike for change" lasted 4 days. Hi welcome to my coke binge last weekend....not impressed
Cause your way of greeting people at the club was grabbing a tit and jiggling it while yelling a name, which usually wasn't theirs, and guys weren't safe either.
Someone asked me why we were having sex on the porch last night. All I remember is him saying he wanted the recruits to see. This has got to stop.
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I dressed up as a breathalyzer test for Halloween; never had so many straight dudes blow me before!
Yeah, my new jeep also came with custom license plates that read 4SKIIN. Not "4 skin" but "4 skiing" thanks mom and dad
it's pretty awkward texting you how much I want to suck your cock when I have my mom on speakerphone.
On my way
Hold your horses dude. Titty pics are a work of art.
I can recall having this conversation with a three year old, but go on
he just got here with a handle of tequila and box of condoms. looks like i'll be spending the weekend in bed
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