I'm so excited for this wedding, I feel like a school girl about to get finger launched on the dance floor at the sadie hawkins dance
My social work teacher just told our class about her bicurios adventures in college
is she hot?
She is now
I love Welcome Back Week...No I wont accept your god but i will accept that hot dog
i'm calling it girls night to make myself feel better but lets be real.....i wasn't going to get any guys tonight regardless
NO YOU'RE NOT. I don't want to hear that SHIT. Jameson appreciation day part 1 is saturday and YOU WILL BE READY.
I apparently spent $173 at the bar last night. The proof is in the vomit on my pillow and the receipt I tried to clean it up with.
Okay. I really need to get out of this guys bed and get home. It's two in the afternoon. He's not even HERE.
It's time for everyone's favorite Wednesday night game... WHEEL OF. VODKA!!!!!
so it turns out the huge bruises on my knees are from drunk bmxing and not getting railed from behind on the ground
and ill have you know that I only wiped out twice
She is so graceful and lady-like, like a swan... On meth
thankfully we both ride of shamed home together on razor scooters in dresses because we stopped for breakfast sandwiches too
Well, let's just say, I got that eye patch like we were joking about
The laundromat is nothing like In the pornos
Dude you were so wasted you thought a fake electric candle was real and tried to light your cig with it. Multiple times.
It got to the point where I was so drunk, playing rock paper scissors as a drinking game seemed like a good idea.
Randomize
