I have a fruit stripe tattoo on my penis. You're the only person I know who chews that gum.
I need to stop researching the drugs I do on Wikipedia. The parts about abuse and dependency hit too close to home
I just followed a trail of feathers and glitter to class. Today better be fucking magical.
i love that he's uncircumcised. it makes handjobs so much easier. it's the lazy susan of penises.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We were making out when she went into convulsions. At least now I know she's allergic to peanuts.
I just figured you know how to drive a boat and I know how to get drunk. What can go wrong
It's sad that the best source of heat that I have is my vaporizer.
can you just act like it's not so easy to get a blowjob from me??
there isn't one for "I'll give you an I'm sorry blowjob" but that's also an option you have. in the meantime here is an emoticon of a caterpillar
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
They should really start adding the average cost of day drinking to our cost analysis sheets. Does FAFSA cover this? No. It doesn't.
There are no female cereal mascots. I just realized that in my drunken state... So sexist...
you just cant say you love him and then say you want to fuck your boss
We literally solved our fight using cat pictures on Instagram. True love.
No I’m scared man. She sharted. In my car. Wearing a dress. And I still like her.
Wow
I mean, I'm not hammered, but I definitely can't show my face or tits in that bowling alley again
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