Just registered some guy for opium withdrawals. WTF opium withdrawals, who does opium anymore.
i hate this class. from the way they're all staring you would think they've never seen a girl in basketball shorts, heels and sunglasses.
Best morning ever. I saw a bum giving another bum a blowjob downtown.
I'm home and safer than post-menopausal sex; you're welcome for the image. And yes, I did just use a semi-colon hammered.
If i need to get strippers involved i will.
surgery went fine. i cant breath out of my right nostril though. lets not eat peas anymore when we are drunk.
so you told her it was a 'nam scar? i mean, how old does she think you are.
judging from the lines on my body they wheeled me back in a shopping cart
This guy either needs to stop touching me or buy me another drink.
ill give you the fast version. Hooked up with 17 year old coworker while housestting for my boss
You know just sitting here carrying on a conversation with a 5 yr old about why there is puke at the landing of the staircase
I can feel my ovaries exploding thinking about them.
Dude, he's legal now. You could not pry me from his dick with the jaws of life.
Some cougar Brit said she loved me. America is bouncing back.
The bad thing is that I bled through my bandages last night and keep finding blood around the house. It's almost like a scavenger hunt for solber me. I get to find out where drunk me went.
Randomize
