Homeslice needs to figure out he's so 2006
in the middle of sex he stopped to tell me that he loved me... then slapped my ass and told me "back to business"... im gonna marry him
Ok I can't be your drugdealer AND booty call AND friend. It just doesn't work that way
sorry we overslept. have a good day at work. p.s. thanks for making it feel like my vagina got hit by a train.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
sometimes you just have to pull up your panties, blow a kiss to the security camera and walk out of the alley like nothing happened.
i think i had a heart attack, prayed, and jizzed my pants.all at once.
Just orgasmed in traffic. Starting to have feelings for my commute.
Just saw a guy walking down the street carrying a giant inflatable penis
Just arrived at our party
There was another blizzard last night and at one point I was drinking 3 beers at once. Driving home didn't seem like a wise option
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Whenever I see women with terribly drawn on brows, I just wanna tackle them and redo them and run away. I'll be Brow-lady. The beauty superhero
His cat watched us the ENTIRE time. Every time I glanced over the poor kitty looked at me as if I were pelvic thrusting her father to death.
Just watched my first Christmas porn of the year. Def have the spirit now
You need to stop leading guys on at bars - you're a lesbian.
And now I'm a lesbian with better self-esteem.
Nah leave him alone, he is at the strip club with his mom.
I got really worried when i woke up and there weren't any missed booty calls from him between 3 and 5 am. Apparently his gf is in town ...
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