She's hot and she went to Notre Dame. I want to fuck the Catholic right out of her
you thought your tounge was "malfunctioning" because every time u spoke it wouldnt sit still.
I'm at work, still drunk. Can you turn on the radio? If the station goes off the air I passed out. Can't get fired. Haven't slept yet.
i'm pretty sure the only people calling it "sexting" are ones who don't actually do it
is it consensual if they're cheered on by a room filled with 30 people?
All I remember is you introducing yourself to the entire basketball team using the line "I'll show you a slam dunk."
you had a pretty long talk with your shrooms in attempt to make them not give you a bad trip, it failed
Wondering when "babysitting" formed into "sleeping on the couch for five hours nursing a hangover and giving the kids Nyquil."
The waitress just told me I'm asking alot. So far I've asked for a soul, an angel and carbombs
In other news, shitting yourself is not an acceptable way to start a Thursday.
winnie the pooh came out of nowhere and offered me a burrito...it was a fucking amazing burrito.
I respect the size of her balls.
Yeah but I don't respect the size of her anything else.
I'll only sleep there if we can bone on your balcony.
It's becoming clear to me that I am not sugar baby material. I don't think I could handle old balls long term.
Aww you are cute. With your penis. And failures.
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