false alarm. still invincible.
i was in the bathroom puking my brains out, a girl walked in and said "i just came to do the same thing" so i told her i would move over and share the toilet. its better than being alone.
We'll cross that bridge when we come to it... Or burn it. Either way we'll deal with it later
we were canoeing in the lake and i asked if he was too drunk for this, and he said "don't worry about it, i'm half native american"
Meet me at the corner of "what the fuck" and"how'd you get in my bed" in 10 minutes.
You're cordially invited to the love nest for alcoholic and aquatic adventures. Also known as an all expense paid trip to my pool, alcohol, and vagina.
She grabbed both of our dicks in the pool then said repeatedly, "this is my dream, this is my dream,"
ugh... I can't wait for campus to get back. Then everyone will have other things to try to have sex with besides me.
My password hint says "not sunset, also facebook." i need to stop doing computer things while high. I will never figure this clue out.
She is just sitting by the bathroom like a little puppy waiting for a knight in shining armor to take her in there to fuck her. New low?
A bee came out of the shoe box and stung her. Even the insect community doesn't want her in those hideous things.
I snorted xanax while wearing reindeer antlers. Prancer gone wild. Have a merry Christmas.
You casually put your finger in my ass and other people are weird..
She came out of the bathroom listening to her iPod and crying. Then she started scream 'she will be loved'. She seems to be handling the break up well lol
That's why we have robots to masturbate for us
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