Either these are mashed potatoes in my pants, or I was drunker than I thought.
i may or may not have just grinded on your dog thinking it was my boyfriend
While I was fucking her, they came in and served us both weed from a hookah. best. friends. ever.
He doesn't know I'm infertile yet, that's when the sex gets good
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So, after having sex with my 4th overweight girl in 2 weeks, I've decided Charlie Sheen syndrome is ruining my life.
she's laying in my bed with an ice pack on her vagina. how do you think it went?
i keep looking at my boobs and it just baffles me how he could give this up.
You did profess your love for cotton multiple times and your hatred for all other fabrics
I danced with this guy last night, I left like I was humped by a blind baby kangaroo trying to body-box.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
it was good, but also weird. like, i came four times and then cried weird.
I lost my bra at his grandma's house so there's that.
I walked in on him pumping himself up by headbanging to the drumbeat from Jumanji.
Please can we have sex in this office for old times sake
Sex and compliments. The way to my heart
IM HAMMERED AND JUST HAD CHEESECAKE THAT MADE ME FEEL LIKE NO MAN HAS EVER MADE BE FEEL BEFORE.
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