Why are you ignoring all of my texts?
The power was out.
No better way to find a friend than to offer cyber sex and see what happens
you kept wiggling your finger at everybody at the party telling us this is how he fingered me. you seemed pretty upset about it.
you know it is a bad morning when you forget to brush your teeth and eat old gas x in your car because its minty...
I wonder if u can grow weed on Framville and sell it to Mafia Wars?
I have way too much money in my bra to be responsible.
A relator touring our house this week saw the picture in our bathroom of steven passed out, yellow faced, with BALLS on his forehead, and had to ask "if that kid was alive or dead".
Also, just almost microwaved cereal. Thank god mom is here to stop me.
Last night we looked at each other with an expression of "fuck I am so done being normal", took off our shirts, and danced around in our bras
We're all getting matching jack daniels tattoos. We're gonna be an alcoholic gang of awesome.
Look. If you're going to be my girlfriend you need to be down with me licking BBQ off your face infront of kids.
You're a five foot adderall and caffeine fueled ball of sexual frustration and suppressed rage. It's only a matter of time before you snap. We're taking bets on when.
I need to wash the frat house off of me
Guy from the bar last night left his number on my waterbill on the counter, at the bottom he put don't forget I can hook you up at Little Caesars I work their part time.
You sure know how to pick em.
I'm really excited to meet your new dude! But we really need to find out if he's your cousin first.
Randomize
