In the future we'll all be gay
I literally stabbed myself so I had a valid reason to get out of having sex with her
hes a good boy he deserves a good blow
The last thing I remember was talking about the economic viability of cock ring manufacturing... we had some good ideas
My dad just sent me a text reminding me to bring the family beer pong championship belt. Thanksgiving 2012 just got real
I think the paper my teacher just handed back to me had one of his pubes on it, I'm way too hungover for this
They are stoned and trying to learn sign language together. It's like watching a chimp waving at itself in a mirror.
I think my boss gives me work off weekends because he doesn't want me showing up hungover anymore..
I need an office. I have big plans. I'm learning spanish this month.
Just almost drowned myself in the shower again. I need an adult.
Bitch how dare you drink my dos equis
you never know when your going to find a surprise from me in your bed...it keeps you on your toes.
What doesn't this kid understand that our relationship is not going past the blacked out blowjob I gave him on his birthday?
I’m calling dibs!
You can’t call dibs on dick. That’s free range dick. May the best vagina win!
You'd think that a rotation of two 30 year old men could keep me satisfied... WHY ISN'T THERE A MAN THAT CAN KEEP UP WITH MY HEALTHY SEXUAL APPETITE?!
Randomize
