it was the worst sex ever in the history of sex. i mean ever. and he thought he was great. actually told me he was the best id ever had...what was i supposed to say? lol...i've had better times by myself. seriously.
i need a shirt that says "I fuck trainwrecks"
Whenever I said your name you screamed polo and did another shot.
She was that classic mixture between "Hell no" and "Why the fuck not."
Played "Which Couple Will Take Me Home Tonight" at the bar last night... I can now cross three-some off my bucket list
I'll be there. With Doritos and whisky. Don't expect much more.
All i remember about last night is holding a bottle of bacardi and screaming challenge accepted!
Not going to lie- I'm a little freaked out camping right now. This is one of those high activities you don't do by yourselves...or close to bears
That is true. Vodka is like a dog. Always loyal, warm, and there for you when you need it
She lost her glasses and we found them on the roof. Don't ask questions. Kings cup was intense last night.
Drinking Patron always ends with me puking or receiving anal. So make your move when I start ordering it.
You yelled "NICE PAJAMAS" at a construction worker wearing a reflective jumpsuit while we rode past on a bike taxi
my ex's current girlfriend held my hair as I threw up. new low.
You gotta own your makeout pics Matt. They're like badges of honor
hey man , the girl you brought home last night is in the kitchen puking in the sink and asking if she can have more shots of Whiskey....think i should give her a shot glass or send her home....
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